How to make decisions that you can live with

Posted on February 17, 2012 by

This isn't exactly what Grace ate on Tuesday, but it comes from the same source. The woods nearby offer a variety of interesting things, including bones from dead animals, this one likely a deer. Grace was very proud of her find and carried this one home recently. Perhaps her scavenger instinct comes from her days on the streets of Puerto Rico.

Grace ate something she shouldn’t have eaten. That happened mid-day Tuesday when we went on a short walk close to our house.

She was off-leash and far enough away from me that I could see her gnawing on something that looked like a small bone, but not near enough for me to clearly identify it or remove it. As I got closer, she knew her enjoyment of her tasty morsel was short-lived, so she swallowed it.

I didn’t notice anything unusual until later that afternoon when she started to be lethargic and then had no interest in her dinner. She was walking awkwardly and had trouble getting up the stairs when we went to bed that night. My husband and I both had long days scheduled for the next day, Wednesday, and upon our return that night, we didn’t think she had moved from her bed all day, not even to greet Pete as he entered. She had eaten nothing and shown no interest in food.

That night, she started whining, and I started to get increasingly worried. I googled “blockage in dogs” and as I read the summaries, all I could see were the words “serious,” “life-threatening,” and “death.”

So I called the closest emergency vet care clinic in our area, and in reviewing all her symptoms, I felt somewhat better. Shortly after the call ended, around 9:30 at night, I took Grace for a walk and she did her business, enough to know it was not a complete blockage. Now I had another positive sign, giving me enough comfort that I felt I could get some sleep without being a total wreck, worrying about all the possible horrible outcomes.

The next morning she eagerly ate her breakfast and did what I wanted her to do on her bathroom walk. Things were looking up. While we still don’t feel like she is 100% herself yet, the signs are moving in the right direction. The crisis has passed.

Throughout the last few days, I’ve had plenty of opportunity to second guess my actions. If I hadn’t had her off-leash, this wouldn’t have happened, for starters. If she had been trained to drop something from her mouth upon my command, that would have eliminated the problem, too.

But the big question I had for myself: should I have driven her to the emergency clinic? If something had happened during the night, could I live with myself for not taking her to be checked?

As this ran back and forth through my mind, I landed on the side of satisfaction that I had made the right choice. Given the information I had in total, I felt the risks were low enough to wait until the morning for any next step. Turns out that worked out well, but it doesn’t always happen that way.

The bottom line is that no matter what others suggest or recommend, you have to make decisions that you aren’t going to regret. When you put a stake in the ground, you need to be able to look back and know that you did what you thought was best, even if the outcome wasn’t what you wanted.

The woman from the clinic forewarned me that she couldn’t guarantee Grace would be fine, even though the symptoms didn’t indicate a grave situation. And I knew that even if I took Grace in, there was always the possibility that it wouldn’t turn out well. It’s not the guarantee of the outcome we should weigh the quality of our decisions on, but rather by how we arrived at our choice.

I believe that once we trust our process, we can trust our decisions. Do we understand the situation fully? Do we have all the information from all pertinent perspectives? Have we reached out for input from those we respect? Have we received advice from experts in the field?

Once we weigh those factors, then we can choose the option that we feel is best, which may be different from what another person would choose. And it might be different the next time we make the same type of decision for ourselves.

Being clear on how and why you make your decision is the important thing.

Posted in Leading | Tagged , , , | 7 Comments

Spread the love on Valentine’s Day

Posted on February 14, 2012 by

Dodger took the initiative to give Grace a kiss, despite the normal cold reception that he usually receives for his efforts to get close. We can't control the reaction of others when we reach out to them, but it shouldn't stop us from doing so.

Today, of course, is Valentine’s Day. It’s an occasion that encourages us to devote time to those closest to us — and to tell them that we care.

Dogs and cats probably don’t have today on their social calendar. Nor do co-workers. We think of it as a romantic celebration.

But why not expand our thinking and bend the parameters a bit? What would be the harm in offering that kind, caring, focused attention to everyone? Not just to those we like, but even to those that may get the hairs on the back of our neck standing up from time to time.

You may recall that Grace has a fierce jealousy of her canine brothers. Yet Dodger remains undeterred in his efforts to be inquisitive and eager to be around her. This weekend, I caught this exchange, where once again, Dodger edged his body close to Grace, sniffing, being curious and — could it be — even affectionate?

Perhaps Grace caught the nuance of it, too, as there was no curling of the upper lip, or low rumbling to warn him off, as is often the case. Grace allowed the two to touch. And later that same day, while the two vied for the attention of my husband for the umpteenth time that day, Grace leaned down and licked Dodger’s ears. I had never seen that before. Could it be that one good gesture beget another?

Today, like any day, is as good a day as any, to notice the good things about everyone around you. And to show that appreciation in whatever way is comfortable for you.

Spread the love today on Valentine’s Day. At home and at work. You may find that it comes back to you, too.

Posted in Communicating, Leadership | Tagged , , , , , | 9 Comments

Does a pedigree matter?

Posted on February 8, 2012 by

Grace and Raegan enjoyed another walk together this past Sunday. Raegan is a purebred silver lab and now we know Grace has a lot of chihuahua in her. They both love normal dog things, like carrying a stick, climbing over rocks, and exploring the smells in the woods. However, their different pedigrees make their training and learning systems unique.

When you’re looking for the perfect job candidate, do you take into account the person’s background or societal standing? Perhaps you require a college degree? Or a degree in a certain discipline? Or maybe you look for the candidate to have work experience that comes from a particular type or size of company? In short, does the pedigree of the candidate matter?

I think it helps you know what you have, but it doesn’t determine what the person is capable of achieving.

Yes, some schools are better than others. And certain work experiences yield greater opportunities for learning. The skills we’ve gained in the past will impact what we can do in the present and future.

But that doesn’t exclude the possibility that anyone who lacks a particular skill will necessarily fail.

Take Grace as an example. I know — she’s a dog and no matter how sensational I think she is, she won’t be filling out any job applications anytime soon. However, she offers us yet another important lesson.

For Christmas, one of the gifts from my husband was a DNA test for Grace. I thought this was a brilliant idea, not because I cared about her blood lines (I did adopt a street dog, after all). But because I’ve always been curious about who she really is, so to speak.

People ask us all the time, “What breed is she?” My response is, “A mutt.” I like mutts. I think they are interesting and they aren’t usually plagued with many of the breed-specific quirks and health issues.

I add to my response that I think she has whippet in her, because she’s so lean, agile, fast — things that seem like a whippet to me. Other people have said they think she might have some Italian greyhound, terrier, or dachshund in her. But of course, we didn’t know. These were guesses, based on our impressions and limited knowledge about each of these breeds.

With my DNA swab kit in hand, I was filled with curiosity about what we would find out. We fully expected to receive a report with “inconclusive results” as we were certain she had untold number of breeds that had been mixing it up on the streets of Puerto Rico.

Imagine our surprise when we found out that 50% of her ancestry was 100% chihuahua! “Is that the Taco Bell dog?” I asked my husband. (Yes.)

When I looked at the chart, which included a small graphic representation of parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents, I’ve never seen so many little chihuahuas in one place! It was comical to me; here I was thinking she had a deep mix of breeds in her; instead I began to speculate that if her one chihuahua parent had hooked up with another chihuahua, Grace would be a purebred!

Her other side was 50% dachshund and 50% mixed breed. Of that “mixed breed” portion, there were five options, ranked with probability of each: Golden Retriever (14.63%), Tibetan Spaniel (4.61%), Weimaraner (4.05%), Shetland Sheepdog (3.32%), and Labrador Retriever (3.12%).

They included descriptive lists of traits for the breeds and chihuahuas and dachshunds shared two in common. Interestingly, they couldn’t describe her any more accurately:
• Alert, active, and often playful.
• May be suspicious or fearful of strangers.

Seeing this, I realized that it’s possible that some of her ongoing fear issues are related to her genes versus her start on the streets. In addition, chihuahuas respond well to reward-based training using treats (totally true for Grace) and the dachshund has a hunting background and therefore prone to barking (yup).

Does any of this matter?

Whether Grace is half-chihuahua or not, it doesn’t preclude her from doing things that any normal dog would do, like taking up more than her share of the sofa or chasing the cats away from her bone.

But knowing more of who she is and what her experiences have been help us develop a higher level of success in the things we work with her on. It doesn’t mean she can’t accomplish success in things we ask her to do. Yet we have to keep in mind her needs if we want results. That’s an excellent thing to keep in mind when managing people, too.

So whether you are hiring or being a mentor to someone in their career, look for potential, rather than limitations.

Posted in Interviewing, Leadership, Management | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Get the right people together and good things happen

Posted on February 3, 2012 by

Grace isn't the type of dog I can take every place I go, even if I wanted to. There are often times when she is much better off left at home, to relax in her comfy bed. It's important to bring the right people together when you want the most effective outcomes.

In the ten years since starting my business, I did something last Friday that I have never done before.

I invited a variety of clients to come together and talk with each other about their experiences using the Profiles assessment tools.

The way I looked at it, those people “in the trenches,” doing the work, could offer the best ideas to share with others. I have lots of suggestions and examples that I give my clients, but I had an instinct that this type of collaborative discussion would have more impact.

The dynamics at the meeting confirmed that impression. Despite icy road conditions that morning, we enjoyed 100% attendance. After sharing ideas for almost two hours, I asked if they wanted a coffee break, but heads shook no and we carried on. At noon when we ended, everyone stayed to enjoy lunch together for more sharing of ideas.

Feedback after the session voiced appreciation for how open everyone had been. Each of the clients came into the meeting with varying levels of experience, from veterans who I have worked with for about eight years, to others who have started within the last year. Yet, everyone walked away thinking about something in a new, different way.

My goal was to discover ways for these clients to get more out of their investment. Each of them has a deep desire for a quality workplace environment and an exceptional experience for their customers. With that commitment to employees and customers, I wanted to help them accomplish those objectives.

These companies have witnessed the value of the assessments and we have significant success stories already under our belt. But why stop there? Why not forge into new territory and see if we can do more with what is already around us?

I learned from this experience, too. As I was planning it, I worried if everyone would find value. I worried if they would bring up problems I wouldn’t have the answer to. I worried whether the organizations would be so different that the ideas wouldn’t be useful. But I shouldn’t have worried at all.

I brought talented people together who wanted to learn. When that happens, the answers will come.

Meanwhile, Grace was enjoying a lazy morning at home. She was with us in spirit, knowing the right people were at the right place.

You don’t have to include everyone on your team for every meeting. But you should make a conscious effort to bring those together that have a common goal, even when things are going just fine. Everyone benefits when that happens.

Posted in Communication, Leadership, Management | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Clear communication becomes dog’s play

Posted on January 31, 2012 by

Grace enjoyed some moments with our friends' dog, Raegan, when we all went on a walk this weekend.

It’s really fun to watch two animals play together. They seem to have a rhythm, knowing what to do and when to do it. If one does something the other doesn’t like, it’s communicated clearly, in a way that expresses their desire, without judgment. No grudges held or lingering resentment, no baggage left to deal with on a subsequent encounter.

The two had lots of energy chasing each other.

On Sunday, we had the opportunity to take Raegan, our friends’ dog, on our weekend walk. Grace normally runs a lot on our walks, up and back, up and back again, and all around us on the trail. But with another dog around, there is even more energy abounding. It is interesting to watch.

Raegan is a one-year-old silver lab. She’s sweet, strong, and like most labs, she loves the water. I was nervous when we neared a small reservoir and she ventured out on the ice. We called her back. She came. Whew, thank you, Raegan. Can’t tell you how much I did not want to find out how cold that water was.

They raced side by side down the trail and even though Raegan is larger and younger, Grace was sure to show us all that she was still in the game.

I know that all dogs don’t get along. But I do think they have a way of communicating that is very clear, especially when humans aren’t around to misinterpret. Their messages may be subtle, but they are effective. Animals are more inclined to watch for nuances and signals that we humans have to be hit over the head before we see it or hear it.

My last post was about being ignored. And as was noted in the comments from that post, matters get worse when we don’t address them. Grace and Raegan weren’t always side by side, but they never ignored each other either. It seemed they always knew what the other one was doing. They had a blast being together on their walk. But it didn’t mean they always agreed on how to play or what to do next.

Raegan found her puddles to wade through. Grace jumped over the tree limbs, just like we’ve done in agility. Sometimes they ran together in circles, one instigating the other to run faster or further. And sometimes Grace said, “Enough!!” with her front paws and low growl. Raegan understood and abided.

When I looked back on the pictures from the day, it seemed they were more in sync than I initially thought they were.

Wouldn’t it be great if everyone on the team understood their own personal style and needs, along with the needs of others — and then were able to communicate those things clearly and with respect for all?

Watching two dogs play can teach us a lot.

Posted in Feedback, Leadership, Management, Teams, Teamwork | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

There’s a whole lot of ignoring going on

Posted on January 25, 2012 by

Grace had been successful in her prods to take her on a walk, but she wasn't too happy having to wait again for me to take this picture. She is not the most patient dog, especially when she feels she is being ignored.

Most every afternoon, Grace lets me know if I’ve been ignoring her. The first sign is the “walk-by,” meant to get my attention, and at this point, she’s actually quite diplomatic. She doesn’t whine or tap my leg. She just makes sure we have eye contact.

Then she goes away, either to her bed, or the other room and waits. It might be 15 minutes or 30 minutes. She returns. The next time, she gives a subtle whimper. Waits for a minute to see my reaction. Retreats.

After another 15 minutes or so, she returns. This time with a kick in her step and a more pronounced whine. She’s ready for our daily walk. If it’s raining, she has no interest in going out, so I’m left to get my work done uninterrupted. But most days, she’s insistent and it’s impossible to be unaware of her presence.

I love our walks, too. The stretch of road we walk on is peaceful and re-energizing and helps me think about my work, my day, all sorts of things. It also helps me burn off a few of those extra calories I tend to eat during the day. But I’m sure she thinks of this as our time together or perhaps just a favorite time of hers to get fresh air and check out all the new smells in her territory. If my schedule won’t allow me to take the 30 minutes, she is quite upset. It’s the equivalent of a manager’s lack of response for an employee’s request or need.

Before I started this blog, I would never have guessed how very prevalent that is. It is not an exaggeration when I tell you that nearly every day, someone is trying to find advice on how to deal with a person who is ignoring him. I can’t tell who is looking, but I can see the search engine terms used. Here is a sampling of what I see — on a daily basis — that has landed people on my blog:

• what to do when my manager is ignoring me
• when someone is ignoring you
• someone is ignoring you
• ignoring someone
• be noticed
• is he ignoring me to think things out?
• what to say if she is ignoring you
• how to know if someone is ignoring you
• how to communicate if she’s ignoring you
• best thing to do when someone is ignoring you
• how to find out if someone is ignoring you
• how do I get him not to ignore me
• how to get through someone ignoring me
• what do you feel when someone is ignoring you
• is there anything to say when she is ignoring you

There are more but you get the idea. There’s a whole lot of ignoring going on.

I think it’s easily a two-way street. When Grace started in with her little “it’s-time-to-go-on-our-walk-routine” yesterday, I was in the middle of a task; I thought it would take about 20 minutes and it ended up taking me an hour. I really wanted to finish before I left. She could wait.

As soon as I was done, we left for our walk. When we were nearing back home, I let her off-leash as I sometimes do. She ran up into the woods and promptly ignored my calls for her to return. Some gratitude for a nice walk, I thought to myself. But maybe it was only fair. She was now ignoring me after I had ignored her earlier.

I often hear from both employees and managers that they feel they have not been heard. Sometimes it’s caused from a lack of access where the manager just isn’t around, nor makes herself available. And other times, it’s because no action has been taken after a conversation where the expectation has been set for something to happen.

Grace has found a way to get my attention when she thinks I’m ignoring her. What advice would you offer to managers and employees who face this recurring problem?

Posted in Leadership, Management | Tagged , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Bumps in the road can create better outcomes

Posted on January 20, 2012 by

Whitefish, oat, and vegetable muffins

These 'Whitefish, Oat, and Vegetable' muffins just happened to be one of the recipes I made that didn't irritate Grace's digestive system. Now armed with the information about which foods Grace can tolerate, I can make better choices for commercially produced and homemade foods for her.

Have you ever had that feeling of being at the end of your rope? As if all your hard work has been for nothing?

I certainly have.

As regular readers will know, I’ve been on a recent quest to understand and resolve the issues related to Grace’s diet. I’ve read books, blogs, informational websites, talked to friends and experts on the topic. There is a lot of data out there, much of it consistent.

The research and facts point out that most commercially produced dog foods aren’t that nutritious, but you certainly can find ones that are healthy for Fido. It’s also clear that homemade food and raw meat diets are excellent choices for canines, but like anything, they have pros and cons.

We tried three high-quality commercial kibbles that made Grace sick. So I thought moving to a homemade diet would solve those problems, even if it meant extra work. As we moved forward, she had occasional upsets, but I persevered, thinking that I just needed to figure out the ratios between proteins and grains. Truth be told, I longed for the simple days when I opened a lid on the container and scooped out a portion of dry kibble, dropped it in her dish, and meal time was done. No prep, no mess, no clean-up. You have to keep in mind that I don’t like spending any more time in the kitchen than I need to.

Making homemade meals for dogs is cumbersome. In addition to the recipe searches, planning, grocery shopping, and cooking times, it includes the daily processes of thawing and warming food. It’s not as simple as microwaving (that’s a no-no as it destroys important enzymes). Dog food prep was becoming a constant activity.

To make matters worse, the time and energy I was spending on food education and preparation wasn’t helping at all. Instead of enjoying a healthy dog, we were busy cleaning furniture and bedding caused from upset stomachs, not to mention being awaken two nights in a row on frigid cold nights for emergency bathroom runs.

All these bumps in the road were, quite frankly, leaving me frustrated. At my wit’s end, I called a holistic vet in our area. Our primary vet had recommended a holistic approach when we had been discussing vaccination protocols, so I decided to explore this as well. Lucky for me, he could see us right away, because I wasn’t sure what to feed Grace next.

After leaving his office on Tuesday morning, I was armed with new data that I never knew I could get, and I immediately became thankful for those bumps in the road. Every mishap creates the opportunity to learn more.

I couldn’t explain his process and methodology intelligently, so I won’t try. He confirmed much of what I had learned from other sources, added his own opinion on topics, and provided a whole new approach I had never even heard of. He was able to test different food types specifically to Grace’s system and determine which ones she could tolerate and which ones she couldn’t. I left with a long list of ‘yes’ and ‘no’ options: she can tolerate beef and bison, but not corn or chicken. Turns out that my yummy-looking rice-filled muffins were contributing to digestive distress.

As I left, I had an enormous sense of relief because I had specific information about Grace. That’s exactly the same type of benefit that scientifically developed assessments can offer to managers. When we have customized information about a person and a situation, it not only eliminates the guesswork, it dramatically improves the quality of our decisions.

So often, management and leadership theories make complete sense when we hear about them in general terms. For example, all managers know they need to delegate tasks to the team in order to accomplish more. And the idea of delegating seems straight-forward. Yet the way in which you delegate to two different people depends on who you are delegating to.

I thought making homemade food would solve the problem. Yet I unintentionally served her foods that were not at all good for her system. What are you doing unintentionally that isn’t serving your team well?

Look at the bumps in the road as opportunities for further exploration. You might be surprised at what you discover.

Posted in Change, Leadership, Management | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments